Listen to 'The Drummer Boy.'

You never know what the Lord will do! The following note exchange keeps taking place in response to the Mustard Seed devotional I wrote as a witness to what God had done in my life a few years ago - Christmas of 1995 as a matter of fact. If you should find this devotional and the subsequent testimonies speaking to your situation, would you please drop me a note and tell me about it? The following notes have been edited to keep the identities private where the notes are of a sensitive nature. I repeat the prayer I made on the story page: "My prayer is that, in the midst of difficult times, you will find hope; that a mustard-seed Christmas may be yours."
L'Chaim, Charlene

Thank you for this wonderful page. My mom died 2 years ago and I haven't wanted to celebrate anything. I have a wonderful husband and two children...really three. Our son just got married in October...my body was there, but my heart was not fully involved in any of the planning or the joy that I should have been feeling for my son. I will put up a mustard seed, and let God grow my joy back once again. I know He is and always has been able. I just forgot where I left my joy....thank you for helping me find it again.

Hope

December 10, 1999

Hope,
You have beautiful name. And your name is what A Mustard Seed Christmas is all about. Hope. Despite the surroundings and the circumstances. Despite what we feel. When night falls, the trees and the plants are still there, even though I cannot see them. When the night of despair descends, God is still there, goodness is still there, even though I cannot see God or the goodness. I've taken to "seeing" the darkness of night, of despair, as being immersed in and surrounded by God. It helps me.

Blessings as you rediscover the heights and depths and the broad spaces of joy!

In Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 12 - December

In response to your story of your Christmas in grief I would like to share my personal story. My family will be separated this season due to the fact that my husband, my children's father, has spent the last 9 months in prison and we are unsure of a date of release for him. It has proven to be a very trying time for all of us. My kids miss their Daddy and the special time we spend together during this season. My husband is experiencing depression and guilt for the mistakes he has made to bring us to this situation. When J (husband) left in March my mother gave me a mustard seed necklace and it has proved to be a constant reminder of my faith when my days are troubled. Though I cannot give J this symbol of faith this year because of the limitations of what inmates are allowed I am hoping for your permission to reprint and send your story to him in hopes he will also be able to celebrate Christ's birth without the burden of guilt. We can do that from anywhere. I am thankful for these occurrences in our lives because through his time in prison he has found the Lord. I ask for your prayers for a speedy return home and my prayer for you is that you be blessed with the joy of the season.

Thank you for your inspirations.
L

December 10, 1999

Dear L,
Please rest assured that you are in my prayers - you, J and the children. By all means go ahead and send him the Mustard Seed Christmas. It is all about hope. Perhaps it will even bless others there with J.

I admire your courage in writing to me, a stranger, and sharing your private grief. It is awesome to me and I am honoured. May you all discover the Christ child this year. Blessings upon blessings to you.

In Christ,
Charlene
PS: I will include your story with initials on my Testimonial page. Your story will surely bless others!

Testimony # 11 - December 7, 1999

Dear Charlene
I was very moved by your mustard seed devotional. I am a Presbyterian minister serving in a Co-operating Parish in New Zealand. Every year, we have a service which we call "Sometimes Christmas Hurts" and people come to that for a variety of reasons. This year, as I approach Christmas I am hurting really badly - I have Multiple Sclerosis and have become dramatically more disabled recently so life is a struggle - my wheelchair is doing long hours! I am completely and utterly powerless over all of this. Through it all, the Lord has shown me that powerlessness - or the fact that I know that I am powerless - is his gift. It's only when I know that I have no strength and power and I can't control or fix that he can give me his power. Time and time again I forget that but time and time again, he graciously reminds me. He has reminded me again - through you - that all I need is faith which can be as tiny as a mustard seed - because it's all his gift and his doing. In the midst of my tears and grief because I'm facing major life changes, God is here and the Word was made flesh and lives among us. He strengthens me. Wow! The awesome thing is that now I am too disabled and weak to control or fix or try to be the most brilliant minister ever - God is using me heaps and I praise him for that. May God be with you and Richard this Advent and always. My houghts and prayers are with you.

Yours in Christ's love, Sue J

December 7, 1999

Sue,
Thanks for writing and sharing what A Mustard Seed Christmas has given you. Hope is such a precious thing and we are each containers of this awesome gift. Bless you as you bear "hope" to your part of the world. May you know the warmth and assurance of His presence with you on all your days and may there be many to bear the seeds of hope to you.

Blessings in Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 10 - December 5, 1999

Charlene
I am a minister of the Church of Scotland in the Charge of Bearsden North P.C. I was deeply moved by your 'Mustard Seed' Meditation and was hoping you would allow me to use it in a service of Meditation and Music during the month of December. I know that many who have lost loves ones recently would benefit from hearing the thoughful and yet inspiring sentiment. I would ofcourse offer an explanation of source etc.

Wishing you seasons greetings
Keith B

December 7, 1999

Keith,
Please feel free to use the meditation, A Mustard Seed Christmas. We've had reason ourselves to call upon the wisdom in it this year. Remember us in your prayers please. We've both been ill with the flu and my husband is in hospital with pneumonia.

Thanks & Blessings,
Charlene

Testimony # 9 - December 4, 1999

Thank you so much for this beautiful testimony. In October of 1998, on our Canadian Thanksgiving Day (2nd Monday of October), my husband of 19 years went home to be with the Lord after a year-long battle against a very severe form of Lupus. I didn't feel that much like celebrating Christmas on my own last year, but our two teenagers were firm. Christmas had been my husband's favorite holiday; he always loved all the programs and concerts and special services at church. We were going to do them all. Melody and Samuel decorated, and we went to programs together, including the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service from 11 p.m. to midnight. his year, it will be easier.

May I have your permission to read "A Mustard Seed Christmas" at a Christmas celebration of my Bible Study and Care Group?

--Denise B

December 4, 1999

Denise,
You certainly have my permission to read A Mustard Seed Christmas to your group.

Remember that you'll always be prone to being "ambushed by grief" as I call it. Those moments when we get caught by a song, a poem, a smell, a sight - that allow us to open up to the refreshing tears of heaven. I've come to cherish these moments and these tears. May God bless yours!

Whereabouts in Canada are you? I'm in Golden, BC in the Rockies (actually at the foot where the Kicking Horse River meets the Columbia River).

Blessings in Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 8 - December 3, 1999

Hi Charlene, I like your mustard seed story, and would like to list it on my site this month under "Homepages in the Spotlight." Jean
Thanks for visiting www.faith.cc

December 3, 1999

Jean,
Feel free to link A Mustard Seed Christmas. I would be honoured. I'll go check your page a little later when I 've got a moment to enjoy.

Blessings in Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 7 - December 1, 1999

Thank you for sharing your story. I am a chaplain for 300+ nursing home residents and I'm going to try to give many of them a Mustard seed ornament to encourage them to have faith in their savior this christmas when many will be by themselves.

Grace and Peace and Merry Christmas...Dean

December 1, 1999
Dean,
Thank you for sharing. I'm a geriatric nurse and worked in nursing homes and homes for special care and veterans hospitals most of my nursing years. I'm so tickled that you are doing this. Bless you and bless them. Give them a hug from a geri nurse who cares.

In Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 6 - November 29, 1999

Dear Charlene,
My aunt from Gary, Indiana had unselfishly come to stay in Wheelersburg, Ohio to care for her aging parents. She stayed here for four years. We lost Grandpa in May of 1998 and Grandma broke her hip and could not be rehabilitated do to Alzheimers, she just could not understand how to walk again so we had no choice but to place her in a nursing home. Still Aunt Helen stayed to sit with her mother and keep her company even though Grandma seldom knew who she was. The time came that Aunt Helen was to return to her home in Indiana. Her children and grandchildren were jubilant that she would be returning. (An eight hour drive had separated them so they saw her only a few times a year for the past four years.) This spring on the Saturday that Aunt Helen was to leave Ohio, she had a stroke which incapacitated her. We lost her three agonizing months later.

Aunt Helen has been a solid testimony for Jesus Christ as long as I can remember. We are all devastated by her death. It has been especially difficult on her children and I was wondering if I could get permission to enclose a copy of your mustard seed story with my Christmas cards to my six cousins. They are having a trying time right now. Thank you, Stacy

November 29, 1999
Stacy,
It sounds like Aunt Helen left behind a legacy of service above self to her family. It also sounds like there was a whole lot more to Aunt Helen. You are especially welcome to enclose a copy of A Mustard Seed Christmas in your cards. May God bless your grief and pain and turn it - "in his bright design and sovereign will" - into something beautiful to bless others with. The quote is from the old hymn, "God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform."

God bless!
Charlene

Testimony # 5 - December 1/99 (October 21, 1999 - Hidden in one of my folders. - cef)

Hello Charlene,
I am hoping that you will agree to allow me to reproduce part of your Mustard Seed Christmas in our Bereaved Families Newsletter that goes out just before Christmas. We are a non-sectarian bereavement organization, so I cannot promote a Christian philosophy, but your words are inspirational and I have tried to keep as much of the original spirit as possible.

I'm showing you by way of attachment the exact text I am hoping to publish. We are a small organization - of some 175 members. Would you mind letting me know if it's ok to publish as I've suggested? Thanks and God's peace to you.

Susan H.

October 21, 1999
Thank you for your note and your interest in A Mustard Seed Christmas. I am pleased with what you have done and understand the constraints you operate under. I am very heartened by the blessings this sharing of my personal grief has occasioned for people. You have my permission to reproduce a portion of A Mustard Seed Christmas as you have requested.

In turn, I have a favour to ask of you. May I publish - online - your e-mail request and your "version" of A Mustard Seed Christmas so that others may be similarly enabled and empowered? Blessings to you and your organization.

Charlene

October 22, 1999
Hi Charlene,
Thank you so much for permission to reproduce. I felt inspired by it, as I'm sure our readers will also. Yes, of course, you have my permission to reproduce my edited version!

Charlene's Note - December 1, 1999
For some reason I do not have and cannot find that version. Will write back to Susan for it.

December 5, 1999

"A mustard seed Christmas" - edited version

We began with a note: "many of us know the passage in the New Testament that refers to the Kingdom of God as a mustard seed. We then went on to credit you and gave directions where to find the original version on the web - it goes here).

Last year our first Christmas decoration was a mustard seed. A lowly mustard seed. Taped on a sheet of white paper to the centre of our mantelpiece. It was a sign and a symbol of the fragile and tiny hope I had of celebrating Christmas. The hope was fragile and it was tiny becuase I did not feel like Christmas last year. How could I sing in the strange land of Grief?

Despite my fog of misery, I knew that I was being somewhat self-absorbed in my pain. Life was going on all about me but, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how I was going to get through this time. Everybody busy and happy and having parties and family gatherings. I shrank inside. The thought of smiling and pretending joy was beyond pain for me. What was I going to do?

I told my husband how I was feeling: that it was beyond me to rejoice. As I said these things to him, he reminded me that God is able, even if I am not. He mentioned the parable of the mustard seed to me. God took that little mustard seed and made of it something worthy. God could take that tiny mustard seed of faith and grow it into a kingdom of hope.

I felt as if I had been touched. I got up and went to the kitchen and rifled through my spices. Yes! There it was! My bottle of mustard seeds. I got one out and grabbed a piece of pap from the pad by our phone and taped that mustard seed to the centre. I returned to the living room, waving the paper triumphantly. "I've got it! I CAN celebrate this year!" My husband said, "Here, let's put it up on the mantel. It'll be our first Christmas decoration." Up it went. Every time I looked at it, I was reminded of the hope it sybolized and the faith it embodies.

The mustard seed became a powerful witness in our house last year. Many people asked about it and it became a growing joy to share what it meant. The mustard seed again graces our mantelpiece to symbolize Light in the darkness, hope in the face of grief and despair. My prayer is that, in the midst of difficult times, you will find hope; that a mustard seed Christmas may be yours.

(We went on to say, The Board of BFO - Durahm wishes you and yours peace in this season of light. We are here for you over the holiday season. Each of us will take turns answering messages. Hang in there. You are not alone.)

The whole thing took up one column in the newsletter (1/2 page). Thank you so much, Charlene, for your creative gift. It sooo reminded me of my first Christmas without my daughter, and I wished I had the concept, then! Mind you, we did manage to get beyond the pain because of our son and the hope of life that is Christmas ... but it might have been easier had I known this. I'm hoping our newly bereaved parents will find some comfort in your words.

May you and yours enjoy a peace-filled and joyous Christmas.
Best wishes,
Susan Hendricks

December 10, 1999

Susan,
Thank you so much! (Richard & I have both been DOWN with the flu and pneumonia so I've been struggling to get things done.)

I have placed the edited version - including your letter & notes -at Testimony # 5 1999. I'm not sure yet if I will put it on the main page.

I'm in awe that my little story might end up blessing folk who have been through so much. My own awareness is limited to having lost my little cousin when I was a teen. The memory is - on occasion - very fresh. My heart goes out to you and to the families you are "ministering" to.

Blessings,
Charlene

Testimony # 4 - November 25, 1999

Dear Charlene and Richard,

Thank you so very much for this beautiful site. Charlene, your messages in "Mother's Last Christmas Gift" and "A Mustard Seed Christmas" have been life savers tonight. I am a newly appointed pastor and have only been serving here in Alvaston for less than three months. This afternoon, a young mother, aged only 38, suffered a massive heart attack and died. She leaves a loving husband and two children, aged 10 and 12. Penny was at the center of every activity with the children of the church, and even though a young Christian, had become a rod and staff that many, especially our troubled youth, leaned on. So, with my Sunday service all planned, and all of the parts distributed, all of a sudden I had no idea what I could possible say now in the face of this tragedy. Your gentle meditations announce the seed of hope even in the face of this despair.

Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and Christ's healing in your meditations. They have helped me and I'm sure they will help our family and church in our grief.

Blessings and peace,
Martine S.

November 25, 1999

Hi Richard and Charlene,

Thanks for your kind word. It's been a rough day: Thanksgiving away from family (although I had lots of friends coming over), and in the middle of the day, a pastoral call to the grief stricken family. . . it's difficult to hold it all.

I spent a lot of time last night reading the grief counseling meditations from your beautiful Christmas site, and they will help me as a pastor, and the bereaved family....

Thanks again.
Every blessing,
Martine

November 26, 1999

I'm glad Richard wrote to you. The Mustard Seed page is such a precious one to us. Every year it continues to give us and others encouragement and hope. Life's inexplicable moments of despair and its tragedies are always there. Sometimes what we need most is the way through. The Mustard Seed pointed that out to me. We continue to hold you in prayer as you minister to the family.

Blessings in Christ,
Charlene

Testimony # 3 - November 18, 1999

Just wanted you to know that I will be using your idea for the mustard seed this year for Christmas. Our pastor has been encouraging us to express to family and friends that enter our home that Jesus is the Reason for this holiday. Just three short months ago our son and daughter-in-law gave birth to twins in their 26 week of pregnancy. They were born at 1 lb 13 oz and 1 lb 7 oz. The oldest one died after 9 short days and the smaller one has grown to 5 lbs now and is home. The nurses call him a miracle baby, but is experiencing some eye problems that have required two surgeries now. I too needed to be reminded that God can use the smallest things like a tiny mustard seed of faith to show that He can do great things! Thanks for the encouragement and reminder of this!

November 26, 1999

I'm sorry you didn't leave your name. However I have included your testimony on Mustard Seed Testimonies at:
http://www.rockies.net/~spirit/charlene/mustardseed1.html

Sometimes when we are at the depths of despair, pain and fatigue, that is when the touch of the Master's hand is so palpable. When we have reached the extent of ourselves and there is no more, THERE is God, there we "see" God. I think, for me, that is what the Mustard Seed taught me.

I hope all continues well with your little miracle and may she always remind you of the mustard seed of faith.

Testimony # 2 - November 18, 1999

I was just directed, over MennoLink, to your Mustard Seed Testimony , and was blessed by it. Thank you. The music of "Little Drummer Boy", in the background, also helped make it special. Thanks.

Dennis H.

November 26, 1999

Thank you Dennis, for your encouraging words about the Mustard Seed. I am very glad that the story blessed you. Perhaps it has planted a mustard seed in you too.

Charlene

Testimony # 1 - October 14, 1999

Dear Charlene,

My church, Grace Community Church in El Toro California, is a non-denominational Christian Church. I am the head of a commitee formed to reach out to our Grace Christian Preschool parents. Many of these parents are not "churched" people. One of the programs we put on for them during the year is a Holiday Workshop. I was wondering if I could include your story "Mustard Seed Christmas" in their packets this year. That would mean that I would photcopy it for about 60 - 70 women. I understand if you need to decline, but I really thought your story would be a help for a hurting world. Thanks for your consideration.

Diane R.

October 14, 1999

You have my permission to use my story of the Mustard Seed Christmas as long as it states on the paper that I hold the copyright. I'm encouraged that this story has woven so many minor miracles. My only request is that you let me know how it was received and if it made a difference for someone.

Charlene